1. Dear Clairol,
It seems to me that in the age of "Super Size" that you would make a super size of my hair dye. It takes me three bottles to cover my roots...is this a common problem or do I just have a big head?
2. Dear Gatorade,
I love your G2 but I can never get the lid on the bottle open. I know it's a sports drink but do you have to be a champion arm wrestler to get the bottle open?
3. Dear God,
Can you give me more patience? I need it right away!
4. Dear The Finishing Touch,
I'm 45, is it too late to attend charm school?
5. Dear AT&T,
I'm already a customer, will you please stop calling me every evening at dinner time?
6. Dear Los Angeles Times,
Please see Number 5.
7. Dear George Clooney,
Please stop calling me...If I've told you once, I've told you a hundred times...I'm a taken woman!
8. Dear Technologically Advanced Friends,
Please don't text me in code words, I haven't the faintest idea what you're talking about. BTW, this is the only code word I know!
9. Dear Octomom,
Please...Please...Please have your tubes tied!
10. Dear State of New York,
I owe my cynicism and sarcasm all to you, thanks a lot!
11. Dear Starbucks Barrista,
Have I told you lately how much I love you?
12. Dear Blog Land Friends, Thank you for sharing your warmth, talent and creativity, you inspire me everyday!